Justin Karcher continues his poetic journey through the theater season
How to Have a Mental Breakdown in the Theater District
Annie Lennox appears to me
in a vision while I’m smoking
too many cigarettes
in front of Alleyway Theatre
she’s stands
in the middle of the train tracks
waiting for the train to come
I tell her it’s not worth it
that there’ll be no passengers
the trains are always empty
this time of the year
at least they always appear to be
why would you want to go out like that?
a train with no passengers
at least choose a train jam-packed
with Sabres jerseys, sloppy lovers
college kids spending loan money
on craft beer before a snowstorm
sometimes they catch their reflection
but only for a moment
now I’m thinking about glass
how weird it is, you see yourself
but it’s hard to swallow
so you have to break it apart
tiny swords
you have to walk barefoot across
hopefully the blood you leave behind
will tell you what you need to hear
yeah, that’s why I’m seeing Annie
she walks on broken glass
she sings about it
the rhythm of sweet dreams
turning into nightmares
the nightmares that we all need to conquer
live to tell the tale
of your worst moments
maybe then language is like glass
you have to break it apart to understand
monologues are like shards
that tear at your heart
train tracks
varicosing through strip clubs
repressed emotions shedding their clothes
and getting closer to the truth
suddenly I’m standing on the tracks
Annie’s gone
Main Street a ghost town
the chloroform buzz of the Shea’s sign
too much self-loathing
too ambitious or is it laziness?
glue on the bottom of my feet
instead of the broken glass I need
more cigarettes, more feistiness
more intellectual breakdowns
of everything going wrong
but the demons are never gone
they’re partying in a hot tub
the hot tub is your brain
too much of their champagne down the drain
and you feel you’re impossible to save
the rumbling of heavy machinery
everything bad approaching
the moon isn’t acting like the moon
more like a mirror that the earth holds up
to get a better look at itself
gray, barren, with craters
that need to be filled
let language fill in the blanks
be more immersive with yourself
suddenly I come to
I’m not on the tracks anymore
people are around me
the shattering of life